Princess Sassy Pants & Co.™

Whether it’s some sort of trauma or a period of uncertainty when the old is falling away and the new isn’t quite yet visible, feeling lost or sad doesn’t make us weak or (gasp) “negative.”

In our culture, there’s a big emphasis on being “positive,” but there are periods of growth and change that often don’t appear positive. In the “always be positive” climate, there seems to be even less cultural support as we pass through these.

I’ve walked through some very profound periods of darkness in my life. There were some that I wondered if would make it through, but I wouldn’t change them in retrospect. It’s not always easy shedding an old life that we’ve outgrown, but these are usually times of tremendous growth, however much they might not feel good or look pretty…or positive.

After having been through this many times, I can usually recognize the signs that something is transforming and that it’s time to go into my cocoon a bit. These periods are made so much harder when we fight them and continue to try to operate according to our old life believing something has gone wrong.

When we’re entering the new, our legs are that of a toddler, and trying to run the marathon of our old life just isn’t going to work–it just makes us feel more afraid and even less capable. I’ve found the more I can trust, allow, be gentle with myself, and go inward, the easier I pass through these births.

If your life looks like a mess and you feel lost and confused, something new might be birthing. Breath. Be gentle with yourself. Cry. Take time to rest. Meditate. But most of all, don’t judge yourself (or if you do, don’t judge yourself for judging yourself)—this is when you need love and understanding the most, and it’s okay to give that to yourself.

We don’t feel okay sometimes, and that’s okay.