Everything, and I do mean everything, has some sort of gift to offer. Sometimes these gifts are hard to see at first because they run contrary to what we think we need or want and judge them as bad.
I can’t even tell you how many times I banged down doors thinking what was on the other side was what I really wanted and needed but found a nightmare. There have also been so many times that what was happening looked bad but turned out to be a profound blessing.
There was a time when I had no place to go, all doors shut to me and the only option was to go stay with my dad or live on the streets. This was the last place I wanted to live for many reasons but I reluctantly went “home.” One day I was sitting on his sofa feeling utterly confused and whispered aloud, “Why am I here?” The inner Voice that had become very familiar to me by this time answered immediately, “You are here for a reason.” A deep sense of peace washed over me and that was all I needed to know.
In the months following my dad and I did things together, small things but things that left an imprint on my heart that I wouldn’t trade for anything. Our relationship began to heal. And when he became ill soon after I lived at his bedside. I wrote him letters, read to him, and to his dismay, sang softly to him. He continued to communicate to me even though the doctors said he was unresponsive. He was actually more “responsive” to me than ever. Even others felt it when they entered the room. Our relationship was transformed and by the time he passed a couple of months later, I ADORED him. I adore him still and feel him with me often.
A relationship that went from a history of pain and abuse and a man for whom I felt a deep sense of anger and resentment, became a relationship of inexplicably profound love and adoration. Had there been another option open to me, I wouldn’t have gone to live him. What I first judged as going very backward ended up being a heaven sent gift that I could have never foreseen.
Princess Sassy Pants & Co.™ 