Thank you.


I’ve seen a lot of things through what some call prayer. I’ve had profound experiences, have been healed of many things, and have seen others healed. I don’t really call it prayer and haven’t for some time. There are so many ideas and preconceived notions attached to some of these words that I don’t find helpful, but for the purposes of discussion, I’ll refer to it as prayer for now.

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I find such a deep sense of solace in this idea. I know this is true. I’ve seen it too many times.
Years ago all doors closed in my life so that I had nowhere to live except one place…dad’s house. (My mother passed when I was thirteen after a long illness.) My relationship with my father was a challenging one so the idea of living with him was not particularly high on my list. I had been having very profound spiritual experiences for years at this point, and although my feelings toward my dad had softened, I still didn’t want to live with him. I felt like this was backward move and was very perplexed by it.

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People see us through their own lens of experience. The way they see us is colored by their fears, their pains, their expectations, hopes and many other factors. Sometimes they will judge us harshly and there’s not one thing we can do about that. We can recognize that even though we are still learning in life and aren’t perfect, we have intrinsic value, beauty and worth…and there’s nothing we can do about that either. Wink. Just like the gold can’t be separated from the ring, our beauty and worth is forever the substance of our being. (Even if we are not expressing it fully.)
But this only the half the story–It’s equally important for us to extend this same standard to others. We find our own freedom by giving it to others and the more seeming evidence and justification there is to withhold this, the greater opportunity there is for us to set ourself free. We can be determined to give to others that which we dearly want others to give to us. Although this isn’t always easy to do, it is worth every effort.
But don’t take my word for it. Let your own experience show you. xo

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I’m taking a little break from the continued moving mayhem right now and felt like sharing this post. I love this one. However much it can seem a little silly, this really is the truth and is my personal fairy tale.

I know I’ve done my share of searching in so many things and people in my life. I searched and felt a constant sense of disappointment and discouragement until I started to look within. I really didn’t know what I was doing at first, but I was miserable and it was just the only place I hadn’t looked. To be completely honest, I didn’t expect to find anything different than I had found up to that point. Boy, was I wrong!

When I write about love and the heart I never mean this from a romantic, sentimental sense. I am referring to a much bigger LOVE and the heart being the center of that LOVE. To me the “heart” is the place where we feel this LOVE, express it, and pour it out. You can give it whatever name you’d like–whatever resonates with you. For some it might have a more spiritual or religious name and for some something entirely different.

A name or a particular word doesn’t make something what it is.
There are currently 6909 living languages used in the world today and each one might have a different word that points to the same thing. The word doesn’t make the thing nor does it change it, it is a symbol, a pointer.

So use whatever particular word or words that help you to have the actual experience of this bigger LOVE. For me, the ones that happen to resonate with me include things like fairy dust. But don’t be fooled by the apparent irreverence of my word choices because there simply are no words for the depth of the experiences behind them. xo

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I’ve been thinking a lot about trusting our intuition. I’ve always had a very strong intuitive sense that’s just gotten stronger over the years. If people lie to me, I feel it in the pit of my stomach. If something isn’t right in general the feeling won’t go away until it’s resolved in some way (even if things look good on the surface). If the situation continues for a while, I’ll begin to have dreams and all sorts of other things will happen that are undeniable.
Years ago I was dating a man who seemed perfect for me but after a short time something didn’t feel right. There was nothing on the surface that would indicate a problem but the feeling persisted. One afternoon my brother asked me to take him to gas station to get gas for the lawn mower. I jumped up and off we went even though he was very capable of driving himself. When I went in to pay for the gas there was woman at the counter who had run out gas. I offered to take her to her car.
As it turned out she had gone to high school with my brother so during the half mile drive to her car, conversation quickly moved to a more personal level. In that few minute drive the reason for all feelings that I had been having became clear. This woman had been engaged to the man I was dating (prior to me) for almost two years. She told me things about a secret life style he lived that would never work for me. Each thing she told me was like a puzzle piece fitting into my gut and the heavy feelings were gone.
It’s taken me a long time to really learn to trust these feelings implicitly. There have been times that I so wanted to believe in others that I’ve tried to brush them off but it never works. There have been other times where the situation has been very confusing making it very hard to trust what I was feeling. Eventually there were some things that happened that taught me to trust my gut no matter what.
The only question for me then is what to do when that feeling comes. It’s not always possible to work it out with someone through honest and open communication. So what to do when there doesn’t seem to be a way to reach an outer resolution? Go in. I go in and find a sense of peace once again looking to know that my safety, security, and happiness is not dependent on any outer circumstances, situations or people. From that place the outer situation resolves in whatever way is best for everyone. xo


As I write this I’m looking at the beautiful orange tulips my husband brought me. Their bright hue sings of happiness and hope. My eyes then fall upon a small arrangement of bright pink roses on my credenza. They sit whispering secrets of beauty and creativity. Each are unique and bring their own message. Each one had to struggle at some point and were only potential. They had to push through darkness, through the unknown, in order to blossom and bring their beautiful message.

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