Princess Sassy Pants & Co.™

“Why am I here?” I asked inwardly. I had been living in a deep spiritual state for quite some time when every door closed, and I had the choice between living on the street or staying with my dad. Dad and I had a long history of hostility. We were left with him after mom passed when I still pretty young; he had a lot of demons and was an abusive alcoholic. I saw him through kinder and gentler eyes after I began having deep spiritual experiences, but I still didn’t want to live with him. God had other plans.

“You are here for a reason,” the inner Voice that had become so familiar to me responded, and I knew I was right where I needed to be.

Over the next several months, dad and I baked together and laughed while I redecorated his house. One day as he stood in the living room doorway teasing me, I knew he wouldn’t be here much longer.  A couple of months later, I lived at his hospital bedside. I read him letters I wrote to him late at night while he slept, sang softly to him (much to his dismay), and cared for him as he transitioned.

People would enter the room and remark about the feeling in the room. Even when the doctors said he was no longer responsive, I could still feel him communicating with me and felt a deep, inexplicable peace.  “What happened between you and dad?” my siblings would ask. What happened? What happened is that I saw him. I saw through what he seemed to be to what he always was hiding behind that dark glass, and I adored him beyond words.

He communicated with me up until his last breath, and the next morning I awoke to his voice within me. It was him but so gentle and kind that I almost didn’t recognize him. “Thank you, my daughter, my friend, my spiritual sister. I didn’t understand the importance of what you are doing, but I do now. You helped me more than you know, and now I’m here to help you.” I continued to hear him for a long time, as well as others who had passed.

I have come to see that we are always right where we need to be. There aren’t any mistakes. We don’t always see this. In fact, we seldom do, but nevertheless, it’s the truth. We have ideas of what we need and want and how things should look, and this interferes with our ability to see that we are right where we need to be.

It helps when we start from this premise; when we start from the premise that we must be right where we need to be, however much it might not seem like it, and then ask for help to see the gifts right where we are. They are there. They are always there.