I experienced a period where so many challenging things happened at once that I went into a sort of shock. I could not stop replaying all the “what ifs” and should-haves in my mind. When I say I couldn’t stop, I really mean I couldn’t stop. It was constant. I couldn’t seem to think of anything else. I had to consciously begin to remind myself all day that I could not change one thing that seemed to happen, but I could begin to ask, “What now? Where do I go from here?” Even though it looked like there were only tiny shards left of the life I had known with no hope of gluing them back together, I could ask, “What now?”
Princess Sassy Pants & Co.™ 
I’m so sorry for everyone’s sorrow & pain… life sure isn’t like the movies with happy endings at every turn. Just remember things do get better or at least “different” eventually. HOPE, big hugs all.
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Sending love to all of you
K~
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Moving forward is very difficult. I too lost my husband May 2021. It has been very difficult with the now what thoughts.
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Asking, “Now what? But thinking you should already have the answer to the question will feel painful. You don’t need to have the answer to the question before you ask it. I know this sounds obvious, but I know I tend to think I should already know and immediately feel frustrated and hopeless when I’m doing this. It’s okay not to know yet. How could you? Ask but let yourself not know. Make sense?
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I am posting this on my home office wall. I lost my husband 8 weeks ago. We had dated for six years and were very happily married for 49.years. He died from a gallbladder infection because of a shortage of medical staff to treat him at the hospital and medical treatment errors. He had been doing yard work the day before. I have been trapped in the what ifs and should haves. I am hoping ‘what now” will be a better mantra. As always thank you.
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I really do understand, Linda. One of the many things I was experiencing at the time was the death of someone so dear to me. So many hours were spent replaying decisions, seeing mistakes, and somehow believing this could change things. Be gentle with yourself and take it one moment at a time. Please remember that you don’t have to have the answer to the question, “Now what?” when you ask it. I know this seems obvious, but I tend to think I should already know the answer to things I still need to learn. The answers will begin to show up as we continue to ask and stay open.
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wow – This resonates so well with me – my life was literally shattered by my husband, so much deception in our life that I was totally unaware of. Now after almost a year I can begin to ask Now what ?
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Moving forward with more experience to build upon is a valuable gift if we use it wisely.
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