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“Why am I here?” I asked inwardly. I had been living in a deep spiritual state for quite some time when every door closed, and I had the choice between living on the street or staying with my dad.
Dad and I had a long history of hostility. We were left with him after Mom passed; he had a lot of demons and was an abusive alcoholic. I saw him through kinder and gentler eyes after I began having profound spiritual experiences, but I still didn’t want to live with him. God had other plans.
“You are here for a reason,” the inner Voice that had become so familiar to me responded, and I knew I was right where I needed to be.
Over the next several months, Dad and I baked together and laughed while I redecorated his house. One day, as he stood in the living room doorway teasing me, I knew he wouldn’t be here much longer.
A couple of months later, I lived at his hospital bedside. I read him letters I wrote late at night while he slept, sang softly to him (much to his dismay), and cared for him as he transitioned.
Even when the doctors said he was no longer responsive, I could still feel him communicating with me and felt a deep, inexplicable peace. People would enter the room and remark about the feeling in the room.
“What happened between you and dad?” my siblings would ask. What happened? What happened is that I saw him. I saw through what he seemed to be to what he always was hiding behind that dark glass, and I adored him beyond words.
He communicated with me until his last breath, and the next morning, I awoke to his voice within me. It was him, but so gentle and kind that I almost didn’t recognize him. “Thank you, my daughter, my friend, my spiritual sister. I didn’t understand the importance of what you are doing, but I do now. You helped me more than you know, and now I’m here to help you.” I continued to hear him for a long time.
I have seen that we are always right where we need to be. There aren’t any mistakes. Trust. Ask for help to see the gifts right where you are today.
You are such an inspiration. Your raw emotions are a fresh breath of honesty that can be easily associated with. We all have experienced hurt, pain and sorrow, yet you give us hope for better tomorrow. Thank you
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Lately, I have forgotten that I am always right where I need to be. I have been feeling overwhelmed and anxious with just about everything in my life. I have been in tears nearly every day. When I read what you wrote, tears welled up in my eyes as I felt everything you said so intensely. For the first time in weeks, I can breathe ……. ! Thank you!
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WOW… beautiful sentiment… happy you both were able to find peace. I love your writings… they touch my heart many times and provide encouragement just when I need it. Thank you for all you bring to so many of us. //pattyC
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If we ever meet and you sing for me, I won’t complain.
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Beautiful!
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I really needed this today! I’m caring for my mother who has cancer. It’s really hard some days and I don’t know if I’m doing anything right but I’m trying. I guess that’s all you can do. I am where I need to be. Thank you! 🙏💕
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