Princess Sassy Pants & Co.™

As I sat down, got quiet, and listened within I heard, “Rest…Just rest.”

“Rest! What do you mean? Rest!” I felt a wave of resistance well up.  “I don’t even know what that means! Rest?”

I was feeling more than little flat and was definitely in need of a lift when I began feeling strong inner nudges to rest.  I had gone through a rather lengthy period of challenges that were so profound I would have never imagined one could walk through these things and live to tell about it.  The Voice that was now urging me to rest has many names–intuition, voice of God, gut feeling, inner compass, and “the still small voice” to name only a few.

I have always heard this Voice to some extent, but it became much clearer after I started to have direct mystical experiences many years ago.  This Voice had become a bit different during this period though: I heard it almost all the time and it was both louder and softer if that’s possible.  It filled me with joy, and I had learned to trust it implicitly after the hell I had gone through.  I walked with my ear pressed against its bosom, not wanting to go a moment without hearing its whispers. It became a dear and constant companion, a true and trusted friend, my confidant and my guide in all ways. This selfsame Guide abides within each of us and its language is joy, peace, and comfort.

During this particularly challenging period, my entire life had been flattened with no hope of being pieced together from the tiny shards piled all around me. I had not one clue of what to do next, so I was listening for this Voice more intently.  What I often heard was to rest. I wasn’t even quite sure what this meant, but I listened.  As it turns out, I was in desperate need of a rest enlargement.  Appearances were screaming that I should do anything but rest.  Nevertheless, it felt sublimely warm, cozy, safe, and in every way okay and permissible to do so.  It felt deeply right.

Sometimes Ya Just Need A Nap

At first I found myself taking long naps, and even had days where I quite literally could not keep my eyes open and slept until late afternoon.  It wasn’t a feeling of depression, but more a feeling of relaxing into something much larger than I formerly knew; like a little babe that knows it’s safe to just sleep and be cared for as she nestles in the loving arms of her mother.

I began to see support for this idea of resting everywhere–in books, in seminars, in conversations–but I was still unsure of its exact meaning.  Even though it seemed like there was so much to do, and that I really needed to start gluing my life back together, I felt that I was being given permission to rest instead.  It’s not that I didn’t see the dust bunnies bouncing across the room (and multiplying daily) or the piles of dirty laundry. I would feel a momentary impulse to clean them, but that inner nudge to rest would win out. (My arm didn’t need to be twisted too far.)

Then without warning, I would find myself effortlessly moving from one household chore to another.  I would start dusting with no plans of doing anything else, but soon I was pushing the vacuum around.  Again, with no plans of doing anything beyond that, I would then find myself washing clothes.  This would go on for some time; seamlessly going from one activity to another.  And then just as quickly as it started, it would just stop, and I would go back to resting.

The same was happening with my work at the time; sometimes I wouldn’t even make it out of my pajamas before a flurry of activity would come swooping in.  There were phone calls for help, emails to answer, and ideas that poured through my fingers to the keyboard.  Often it was late afternoon before I knew it, and then it would just come to a complete halt…calm again…and more rest.  I rested and trusted, and rested some more.

This Guide Wants to Carry Us

When we listen to this Voice, we are no longer relying on our own understanding.  We are not looking to what we think needs to be done or not done according to what we think we need or even want.  We are being carried when we listen to this Voice.  I began to see that this “rest” had little to do with whether I was sleeping or there was a flood of activity; in both cases I was resting because in both I was being carried. I was no longer the one doing, deciding, or guiding but was being moved.

I began to see clearly that this inner Guide doesn’t just want to point us in the right direction, it wants to carry us as well.  Living in a state of true rest is one where we lie back and are willing to be moved by this gentle current.  It’s where we stop trying to swim our self, according to what we think is best, or through our own efforts; we begin to relax our arms and legs and let it take us. It directs us and does the work.  We become the beholder rather than the doer, even when we appear to be doing a lot.

This cannot be done without trust.  Few of us would be willing to let something carry us that we didn’t trust–that would make little sense.  This trust is developed through practice and by seeing that any other approach is an attempt to swim against the current and is not only painful but is futile.  At best, we’re left panting, heart racing, and exhausted, and realize we’ve gone nowhere.   It looks downright silly if we’re able laugh through our tears.  Understandably, we become more and more willing to listen and to be carried, and as we do this, we learn to trust it, as our own experience shows us that we will be carried in unimaginable ways we could have never planned for.  We also learn that when we don’t listen, we get nowhere and it just hurts.

As it turns out “rest” is the practice of allowing ourself to be carried in whatever way that looks.  We take our hands off the wheel.  In this, we experience ourself as an adored and precious little child; a babe that is being lovingly cradled and carried.  It is to be in a state of rest and willingness, where we are not the doer even when much is being done.  A little rest enlargement implants us with something far beyond anything we can imagine, and is a state filled with joy where more is accomplished than all our own efforts could ever do.

With that, I think I’ll take a little nap.